Tuesday, September 27
Not being able to find a comfortable position in bed plagued me for at least two years and disappeared several weeks ago. But last night the sack of potatoes returned (only it was marbles instead of potatoes) and turning in bed was suddenly almost impossible. And my left ankle and knee, that have been hurting a little for weeks, suddenly hurt so badly when I walked that it kept me from trying. The pain continued (and seemed to get worse) into the day. Short nap at around two left me zombified which in turn made me feel limp, trapped, and depressed. I couldn’t connect with Friend. Then early evening I remembered heart energy, and Friend pointed out that none of the symptoms were Parkinson’s and all were associated with recovery. I was in a much better frame of mind going into nighttime.
A sneak peak into the future, perhaps, that I forgot to mention yesterday. There are three steps going from lobby to elevator in my building. There are five going from lobby to street at my dentist. I struggle up both sets of steps, even with help. Yesterday I climbed the set of five without thinking or assistance. Roman gasped.
Wednesday, September 28
The sack-of-something theme continued last night but the contents were lighter and more manageable. I woke up grateful. The left ankle and knee were still very sore. The locations of pain correspond exactly to injuries sustained from a run in with a moving automobile when I was twenty.
(from Recovering from Parkinson’s by Janice Hadlock)
“Many of my Parkinson’s patients wrongly assumed that the healing of a dissociated injury and/or restoration of healthy Qi flow should be pleasant. The end result is pleasant enough. But many patients, after re-associating with an injured body part, experienced the long-suppressed pain of the injury.”
Thursday, September 29
Off and on groggy all day. Ankle and knee still sore, but walking well if I make a deliberate effort to pick up my feet. Wonderful visit with Nan and her new friend Paul. Otherwise feeling a bit lost, craving normality – whatever that is.
Friday, September 30
Last night was in line with what my experience has been these last few weeks until about 06:00 when I suddenly went limp, was utterly unable to roll or turn in bed. After an hour of stretches and pacing I was able to sleep another three, but they were leaden, movement never quite restored.
Afternoon Shiatsu was powerful. In fact, it may have kept me awake that night.
Saturday, October 1
I was back to searching for a comfortable position in bed last night, and slept hardly at all. Consequently, I was stunned all morning. Then as we prepared for a walk, the elevator didn’t respond, and no one picked up when we called the weekend emergency number. Thankfully, no one was inside when the elevator stopped working, but what if…? So, I will have to pace the hall at home until that changes.
Took a needed nap during the time we would have been walking and woke as rigid as a warped board. Michele always warns me that Shiatsu can make one feel worse before better. Still, I was so uncomfortable that it frightened me.
The elevator remains broken come evening. I paced for forty minutes this afternoon, that loosened me up a tad. I’ll pace again in lieu of the evening walk.
[Turns out the elevator was repaired around 14:30, then without actually trying to use it, we believed one another’s declarations of non-repair. A metaphor?]
Sunday, October 2
Slept rather well despite some evidence of potatoes. Still, I’ve been incredibly slow all day. The interesting thing is that is that my slowness doesn’t bother me. Initiating movement is easier, but is so subtle as to be perceivable only by me. Left ankle and knee are much less painful. Typing is a joke. Ha, ha.
The evening walk started super slow and became gradually more fluid. I felt (as I often have) that normal movement was just a shrug away. If that’s true, I cannot find the nuance of the shrug.
Monday, October 3
I slept especially well last night, not withstanding an hour’s intermission at two during which I stretched and exercised. Typing today started out astonishingly good, then slowly leaned towards mediocre. That’s fine, mediocre is better than absurd. Walking has been better. It has also been worse. Internally, I feel just fine. This morning was glorious weather wise, and there was an odd shortage of tourists. But locals were out in force and smiles and waves were exchanged with particular vigor. No matter the state of my brain, I live in Orvieto and nothing could be better than that, for me, in this time!
At the end of the evening walk, Roman, who isn’t able to read any of Janice’s literature (it’s all in English) began describing what it is I’m doing vis-a-vis PD recovery. He got it right, too, even describing (by name) the Blocker function.
“Do you remember M–?” he asked me.
“No.”
“Well, he had Parkinson’s, and he believed there was no cure and acted like it would kill him.”
“How’s he doing?”
“He died. Do you remember Daria who we ran into at the photo booth last July, who we hadn’t seen in a year?”
“Sure.”
“She couldn’t believe how much you’d improved. Almost like you were faking it before.”
Perspective. Thank you, Roman.