Tuesday, October 4
A marvelous day. Good visits, conversations, and encounters. Exchanged smiles with strangers. Substantial walks on the sagrato. Waves, nods, and greetings. Happy to be here, grateful for everything. Movement not terrible, sleep good, spirits high. Friend smiles and thanks me for the day, I thank them back.
There was shiatsu in the early evening, very powerful. My left leg was active (RLS?) almost the entire time. Sleep came early and was sound.
Wednesday, October 5
Slept a straight eight, rose at 07:30 and remained energetic and fairly mobile until about ten, when while still walking I went limp. Limpness remained until afternoon, but the most significant thing about all of that was how unbothered I was, in fact I rather enjoyed it. The process of recovery seems almost random, and I’m coming to realize that the importance of surrender is allowing that randomness without panic, and trusting the process even when I don’t understand it. Especially when I don’t understand it.
Thursday, October 6
A wonderful day overall. A male nurse came here at nine to draw a blood sample. After some discussion on paperwork, he let me know that it would cost me fifty euro to take the sample today, but if I wait until Saturday or Tuesday it would be free. After some weak resistance on my part, I acquiesced.
I read The Umbrian Thursday Night Supper Club after lunch, then David and Birgitta came over and we had an interesting and far ranging conversation. The evening passeggiata included meeting Cheryl from San Diego area, Nikki from Capetown, and Rudi, originally from Switzerland, who I’ve not seen in three years. Plus a number of Orvietani.
I came home very happy.
Movement of all kinds is marginally more adroit. Food is tasting especially good. Urinary retention has shown a marked improvement in the last few days.
Friday, October 7
A pretty ordinary day, all around pleasant. Nothing much to say about it.
But this caught my eye.
(from Stuck on Pause 2022 by Janice Hadlock)
“If the self-induced pause habit was used for decades, it might have become deeply entrenched. If so, then even after turning off self-induced pause for the first time, the person might find himself reverting into self-induced pause mode again in response to even a mild emotional or physical upset: if the phone rings, or if someone knocks on the door. If this is the case, the person might need to turn off self-induced pause repeatedly over a few months or years, until he starts solidifying the new habit of feeling safe. When that habit can be invoked on command, he can destroy the pause habit and replace it with the new healthy habit.”
Which is perhaps why Janice prefers calling her approach a “practice”.
Saturday, October 8
A good day all around. Can readily and automatically imagine easy and fluid movement even if the brain/muscle connection is not there yet.
Yesterday, a grey tabby accompanied us three quarters along the “grande U” of the sagrato, always staying one step ahead and between us. This morning we told Kasené (one of the blue nuns assigned to the Duomo) about our feline companion and were informed that his name is Teo. It’s a long story how, but we always call him l’ex-sindaco (the former mayor). So, now we have a friend and know his real name. His company was a great privilege.
This evening we walked the circle around Grand Albergo Reale for the first time in awhile. It’s a bit more strenuous than the sagrato, but the change was nice. Plus, because it’s all on streets, I get lots of encouragement from familiar passers by.
Sunday, October 9
Having broken the routine yesterday, we circled the Grand Albergo morning and evening. For two hours or more the site of a shoulder injury I sustained twenty years ago hurt in a profoundly deep manner, then suddenly disappeared.
Monday, October 10
I slept well and woke up sleepy, a condition that lasted until after lunch when I took a twenty minute nap and woke feeling like I’d been dropped onto an old mattress from a moderate height. After a stunned hour, I addressed the situation with physical and mental exercises which improved everything, even the pain in the left ankle and knee began to melt.
We walked the short route on the sagrato this morning, but there was no sign anywhere of Teo.
My Friend “hugged” me this afternoon, and I began to understand what feeling safe really means.
(from Stuck on Pause 2022 by Janice Hadlock)
“The ‘I’m safe’ mental behavior must be continually practiced in order to form a new brain habit, one that can eventually be used to replace the habit of using self-induced pause. When specific brain techniques are used to destroy the pause habit and replace it with a healthy habit, the use of self-induced pause can come to an end.”
Working on it.