There is no need to burden you with every ripple and current of these endless days, so this is more of a newsletter. If you want the diary format, that’s here, too.
Around August 7, I developed a cough that is provoked by any sudden intake of breath, like speaking for annoying example. On August 10 I woke up with normal hearing in my left ear (normal being less than perfect but workable) and within a few minutes all the hearing left that ear. Because of the timing (that it seemed to have to do with inserting my hearing aide) II thought it was earwax, but when the doctor did what seemed to me like a very half-hearted attempt at cleaning them and with no improvement, he concluded it was blocked eustachian tubes and began treatment for that. In the meantime, the cough got worse, and occasional fevers set in, so he tested me for Covid. The results were negative, so he put me on a short course of antibiotics and threw in a few dietary restrictions – lots of carbs, reduced intake of fluids – for good measure. I’m feeling a bit better today, but I still can’t really talk and the hearing is unchanged.
What has been most annoying through all this is that doctor and caregiver don’t seem to understand that wearing my aides is not going to make a difference. There is a little fanfare that plays when the aides turn on. I can hear the right one, but nothing at all for the left.
“I could hear it clear over here!” shouted my heroic caregiver Roman. “How come you can’t?”
Because the hearing in that ear is gone.
“The aide needs adjusting to your new levels, that’s all!”
First of all, why are there new levels to begin with? Second, the new levels are at zero, there’s no room for adjustment.
All this in Roman’s Ukrainian influenced Italian.
My doctor who speaks good English got me an appointment with a private specialist for Saturday, one who also speaks English, so I hope to break the language barrier then. I’m still not convinced it isn’t wax, but try to explain to the pharmacist why you want a removal kit with hydrogen peroxide and see how far you get. Worse, try to explain what you want to your Ukrainian caregiver who asks the pharmacist. It’s like a game of telephone.
A similar thing happened 18 years ago. I went to doctors and specialists, who all told me it was a freak but permanent hearing loss. So after a few weeks I went to Mark Seem, my acupuncturist is New York, he treated the gall bladder channel, and the hearing was restored by the time I left his office. An acupuncturist here tried the same yesterday (he didn’t feel quite as dynamic or enthused as Mark) with no result.
Anyway, Recovery has been on autopilot. I’ve been able to do almost none of the inner work. The cough wears me out, and the only position I can escape it in is flat out on a recliner, in which I instantly fall asleep. Symptoms are all over the place. Sometimes I can barely walk, other times (like today so far) I can walk pretty well. The tremor comes and goes throughout the day and night. I feel like I want to move more, but when I try to, nothing happens. I have to be careful not to slip into I just want to die mode.
Plus, my phone now shows date information in Chinese, the emergency bracelet I signed up for turns out to be a clunky and unwearable necklace, and Netflix won’t find movies I know are on it when I search (some I’ve seen listed minutes before). Very Kafkaesque.
Janice already said it with her comment about an emotional jolt can scramble the program, and that feels where things are at. Too much going on to untangle. Just a no-progress report.