Wednesday, November 16
Last night between first and second sleep I paced the hall for forty minutes. My arms remained relaxed after five minutes, and everything sort of let go. My left ankle hurt badly, as did my wrists when there were tiny tense moments, but all in all it was the most enjoyable walking I’ve done in recent memory. This morning I woke with a sore left haunch. I don’t believe the two events are related. Walking today has been more relaxed than usual, but never quite as wonderful as last night.
A long-term realization; the PD walk can be characterized by a lack of speed control. That has largely disappeared for I know not how long.
Michele did shiatsu, emphasized the left ankle.
Thursday, November 17
I tried some Fosse on the sagrato, morning and evening; it was fun and it helped rhythm, but the right claw would not relax unless it was doing choreography. I keep trying.
Later in the evening, after watching an episode of The Crown, I got up for some kefir, and then paced the hall for a few laps. Everything was relaxed and flowing, as it was Tuesday night (above). I enjoyed that for awhile, then determined to find the difference between those hall laps and the troll that I turn into when walking the sagrato, I made an effort to correct my posture. Immediately, the fists clenched, my arms trembled, and the troll started metaphorically to harass passersby. I feel as if I discovered a kind of switch, but don’t understand it at all. By the way, fifteen minutes after all that, typing is remarkably smooth, and the troll was nowhere to be seen as I made my way to the study to write this.
By the way, I slept a straight eight last night.
Friday, November 18
It seems the really good stuff happens in the wee hours of the morning when there are no others to bear witness.
I couldn’t get to sleep last night. It wasn’t a problem of not finding comfortable positions, or pain, or jumping muscles, or overactive mind. I was able to lie still in a blissfully comfortable position for an hour at a time without result. I simply wasn’t tired. So, I got up and paced. The pacing was relatively relaxed and became more confident as it went. That feeling of confidence was so strong, I felt on the verge of letting go of all PD symptoms, that I was so close! At about 04:00 I decided to have a yoghurt. Now, when I sit at the kitchen table, I ease myself about half way down then drop the rest of the way. This morning, I sat normally, coming to a soft landing. That’s been almost two years I’ve been unable to do that! Emboldened by what seemed an almost athletic feat, I tried scooting the chair closer instead of pulling the table towards me, and was able to do that, as well! That also represents a change of two years.
Then I went to bed and slept five hours.
This morning, movement was slow and heavy, typing a bit chaotic, but I was not bothered. This afternoon, confidence returned and remained into evening. I’ve seen the future, and it is good.
Saturday, November 19
It was a good night, and a good morning. There were lots of little things I was able to do myself. Cynthia came over for a visit in the afternoon. We had done no more than greet in the two months she’s been here, and it has been three years since she was able to be in residence, so it was beyond wonderful to catch up.
Then I fell asleep sitting upright in the recliner while waiting for Natalia. I woke up a zombie with a tinge of non-specific fear dancing in my stomach. I saw it through and it went away, but I didn’t care for the taste of it.
My newly refound agility for sitting and scooting survived until the post-zombie period, so will presumably be there tomorrow.
Sunday, November 20
The comfort and agility reported on Friday has in large part gone away (for now), but walking this morning was okay. Thing is, I can move around the apartment with arms and hands fairly relaxed, but as soon as I walk outdoors (or in the garage) the hands clench and tremble and my forearms and wrists hurt. Friend says to let it play through, and I try, but the most difficult part of walking is what happens to my arms. However, during the evening walk, I remembered that several weeks ago while doing the “grande U” my arms were clenched, but there was no shaking. So, Friend is correct, the thing with the forearms is a part of a progression, and will change.
Iryna massaged my arms and that helped a lot. For the evening walk we did almost a full kilometer without much arm discomfort. Of course, it meant letting posture collapse into a stoop, but, hey, everything has its price.
Monday, November 21
I had a difficult time getting to sleep, and I blame it on couple of unintended naps yesterday afternoon. As a consequence, I was a bit dopey this morning and the walk was less than stellar. But my mood – attitude, point of view, internal energy – has been open and content. During the evening walk there were periods when my gait felt almost normal (with the exception of immobile arms).