Be ground
Be crumbled, so wildflowers will come up where you are.
You’ve been stony for too many years.
Try something different.
Surrender.
– Rumi
Tuesday, September 13
Two outstanding walks on either side of the Duomo, today. What I mean is, outstanding for what I’ve lately been used to, form is still crooked and changing direction is labored, but I’m lighter and enjoying it more.
Wednesday, September 14
One lap into the morning walk, the sagrato was suddenly flooded with about a hundred elementary school children who seemed to be on a field trip on their first day back; not an identifiable teacher in sight. It was a colorful, gorgeous, chaotic scene, but my brain sensed danger so we quit after three laps.
Instead of counting laps we’ve developed a scheme of naming each lap according to a journey taken. For example, yesterday we traveled to Rome by rail and titled laps as stops along the way. This morning was appropriately set in a crowded Roma Termini, looking for various gates. This evening we hit six of Rome’s touristic hot spots.
On a more significant note, I seem no longer subject to full body twitches when startled by even a moderately loud noise. One more PD symptom may have bit the dust. For now.
Thursday, September 15
I feel a tad more mobile and a titch more agile today. My tendency is to rush the process, and I’m trying not to. “Don’t push the river, it flows by itself.”
Shiatsu this afternoon was blissfully powerful, though I slept for much of it. I did wake long enough to notice that Michele was doing yin tui na on my left foot.
Today we walked the parking garage because of rain. In the morning we took a train back from Rome, and this evening we imagined a trek up Corso Cavour, stopping at eateries owned by friends. Thank you Roman for not being afraid of play.
Friday, September 16
After lunch I was experiencing strong and simple heart energy. One of the things I must be doing these days is to imagine what it feels like to walk. I do this but not without considerable effort. Today it seemed as simple as remembering what it was to walk in places that I love, and as I paced the hall my gait responded. Then two cherished friends came for a much valued visit, and I lost the connection to my Friend. Try as I might I couldn’t get it back.
Saturday, September 17
But I did get it back just before bedtime and that happened because I remembered to stop pushing, to accept and work with what is available right now – that is, to surrender.
The day unfolded nicely. Reading has not been possible for the last two years except on a screen. Just before that became the case I purchased The Umbrian Thursday Night Supper Club by Marlena de Blasi, and it has sat on my shelf ever since. Susan was here to visit, and asked me about it; I explained. “Why don’t I read it to you?” So, she started, and it is wonderful.
Riding the energy of a day well spent (good company, literature, humor… surrender), Iryna took me to the Duomo for a walk a bit later than usual. The instant I stood up I realized that something was profoundly different. The gait was slow, but controlled and smooth and steady from the outset.
“My legs are completely changed, and I cannot even describe how!” The pace became quicker without losing its good qualities, and we walked twice the usual distance with nary a pause to rest. My arms stayed tense, and posture was bent, but there was little or no shuffling, and the stride was surer than it has been in months – if not years.
Typing is a mess and my voice comes and goes, but the walking made me feel like a corner has been turned.
Sunday, September 18
The transformed legs of yesterday survived the night. Morning and night we walked almost the entire “U” of the sagrato, twice each time. Moving around the apartment was also easier.
Monday, September 19
Movement at home and in bed was fluid this morning, but I woke at 06:30 and couldn’t return. So, when Roman got into a long conversation about a gasket for the toilet tank with one of the workers at the Duomo, I fell asleep in the wheelchair. That required a warming period for the walk. Things started out of control, but improved.
It was a fairly groggy afternoon, and I felt oddly dull all day. The evening walk held to the recent pattern, only the grogginess informed both form and energy.