Wednesday, April 6
A turbulent night, not without sleep, and one that would have been treasured several weeks ago, but for the first four hours my awareness was stuck in how difficult it was to move. After that, looser, lighter. In between I paced the hall thirty or so times.
Walking was heavy this morning, awkward this evening, and tiring both times.
I did a lot of computer work, mostly getting finances in order.
Thursday, April 7
I discovered during the night that if, when I wake unable to return to sleep, I do thirty sets of leg lifts at my walker, that I sleep instantly afterwards. This happened twice. Good news because it’s faster, easier, and safer than pacing the hall. So, I slept well, got up chipper and ready to roll, but when it came to leaving the apartment, I could barely walk. Then after wheeling around town (poor Roman) looking for a hat, going to the Duomo showed the same result. After two very slow and exhausting laps I gave up. After lunch I slept two hours.
The evening walk in a circular route between Corso Cavour and Piazza del Popolo was laborious but better than this morning’s.
Aside from walking (and typing) I feel good!
Friday, April 8
Habit.
This is speculation founded finally on observations I made during our morning walk in the garage. I risk making a further fool of myself by writing this, but it seems that symptoms of PD have reduced themselves to excessive saliva and some restless leg syndrome, and with the latter it may be a recovery dyskinesia, I cannot honestly know for sure. Everything else is habit or damage repair. The habit of applying tension to remedy a feeling of not being safe. Damage repair for muscles that have atrophied over the past twenty to thirty months, and nerves that are frayed from fifty-plus years of holding on to avoid panic.
Alexander technique teaches how to think a muscle relaxed. I applied that during this morning’s walk and it worked every time. I could also see how the arms were connected to the legs and the neck was connected to the pelvis. The trick is to learn to sustain the relaxation.
Today before Alexander, I spent a half hour meditating (sort of) to one of those open the heart chakra musical sequences which I enjoy but am skeptical of. When Monika arrived she took one look at me at said “you are glowing, brilliant”. Maybe my skepticism is another habit that needs relaxing.
Dexterity is good, as is typing.
Saturday, April 9
In my eagerness to be done with this process I may have jumped the gun yesterday. Walking was easier this morning, and I was able to relax my body into it more than yesterday, and while there are definitely recovery symptoms at play, there is more going on (it seems) than atrophied muscles and exhausted nerves. Maybe. I have difficulty with seeing things for what they are, sometimes.
I’ve been tired all day, and come evening, even more so. Bone tired. We walked Piazza Gonzaga and the potential was there for a good one, but the nail on my left big toe hurt badly and one lap wore me out, so we finished off with the wheelchair.
Sunday, April 10
That I thought my sleeping a lot phase was over, was a mistake. Walking was very difficult at first, but got better. Sleeping was terrific all night – and day – long.
Monday, April 11
A varied day, wonderful moments of clarity and calm interspersed with trembling, tight, painful muscles.
But what a surprise — the evening walk was wonderful; muscles loose and flowing, balance better than usual, half of it on my own. Mind you, progress in these cases rarely follows a straight line, so I may not see the like of it again for weeks, but the immediate payoff was nonetheless welcome.