Tuesday, March 7
Rolling around and flipping over was easier last night if not exactly graceful, but getting out of bed was back to the terror it was five or six weeks ago. I slept in chunks, too (also something I had hoped to leave behind) but the sleep was good and I was comfortable when I wasn’t moving.
The morning walk was stellar and didn’t wear me out.
The evening walk was lunar and totally wore me out. That, or the evening blank spot, started a half hour early. (By the way, Janice says those periods of not wanting to move are normal and that deep healing occurs.) “Wore me out” yes, but not in such a way that it led me to nap. I was stunned but energetic, and when the stunnedness went away shortly after nine, the energy remained and prevented sleep (or any inclination towards sleep) until almost five in the morning.
Wednesday, March 8
Walking happened, twice; nothing remarkable about either.
I had a really wonderful session with Monika in Alexander technique, got so relaxed for a few minutes it made me wonder where the habits of tension came from.
Monika left and Roman came in. He was elated having run into Monika on her way out and a half dozen of my friends between Santo Stefano, where Ukrainian relief efforts are centered, and the farmacia. We were able to name or identify all of them except for the tall Italian lady with long hair (and sometimes a dog) whose name has two “L’s”. I’ll be thinking about that for a week. (It turned out to be Lucianna. L, M, N – close enough.)
All symptoms, both residual and recovery, match walking; nothing remarkable, either way, except that around 7 pm I entered a blank period, stronger than most.
Thursday, March 9
I slept remarkably well, plus Roman let me sleep until 09:15 so we didn’t leave for a walk until after 11:00. My body decided to enter a blank phase promptly at 11, so walking was very difficult. Then at 13:00 I snapped out of it almost on cue. Then an hour or less later, I became extremely sleepy, so I napped for another hour and was glacially slow for thirty minutes or so afterwards. Through all of that (except during the nap, of course) typing remained accurate and relatively fluid.
Walking was easier this evening, though it was four laps before I warmed up.
It seems that today is a double regards blank periods; at seven I felt one descend like a warm blanket. The next two hours were profoundly whatever “blank” is (the word doesn’t really describe the phenomenon) and even though there is nothing unpleasant about it, tonight I am looking forward to its finishing.
Friday, March 10
Walking was hard this morning. Part of that was that we got to the sagrato at 11:00, about the same time as I entered my “blank” spell. After lunch I rested for a few minutes, not sleep, more like meditation, and at around 13:00 I felt the blankness turn off with a distinct but gentle surge of energy. I seem to have convinced Roman to get me out and walking by ten.
I’ve been to places before similar to what I experienced today, but there is something different. Yesterday, dexterity was awkward even though typing was not, today both are smoother than usual. And I feel confident in ways I have not felt in years.
But the evening finds me with a knot in my stomach as I contemplate Roman and Natalia’s families in Western Ukraine where Putin is now sending his bombs. Give to charities aiding Ukraine. Please.
Saturday, March 12
I continue to feel confident today, though I have no idea what I feel confident about.
Roman changed the morning schedule today to give me time to be limp between 11:00 and 13:00. What a blessing! I lay down just before limpness began, and rested in bliss until lunch call at 12:20. It felt like a healing, too. I tried to finish the two-hour period after lunch, but all I did was tremble.
A twenty minute nap just before Natalia arrived either resulted or had nothing at all to do with the most difficult walk I’ve had in a couple of months. Plus my voice was cloudy. And I wore out after about twenty meters.
Summary of phenomena that I’ve experienced less of recently (to cheer me up); wooden legs after a nap haven’t occurred in weeks; during leg massages (which Roman does daily – poor me!) muscles don’t twitch and contract; I can enjoy lower temperatures in the apartment; for the time being at least, the right arm tremor seems to have gone away (again) except as a reaction to physical or emotional stress; what I could interpret as restless leg syndrome seems actually to be a recovery dyskinesia; I’m sleeping comfortably again (big yippee, that one); knees and ankles rarely hurt at all anymore.
Sunday, March 13
Natalia and I walked the garage this morning. The first four laps were warmups, not pretty but necessarily so. The next two resembled real walking; quiet, light. Then Natalia told me to walk on my own, and it was glorious for four more laps. One odd thing, walking so normally put the brain into a panic – I’m not safe, I have to hold onto something or I’ll fall – and the arms trembled and tensed like I was scaling a cliff without shoes on. Or something. But the walking itself was almost pre-Achilles injury, meaning my walk of two years ago come May. I so look forward to more!
We had adjusted the schedule to allow the two-hours’ blank period that begins at 11:00, so were home and finished by 10:30. I did some stuff at the computer (writing the above paragraph for one), then suddenly lost all desire to move at 10:55, so I took myself, slowly, to the salotto and spent time in the recliner in a state of suspended animation until lunch was called at 12:30. It was the first time I’d been able to fully honor that (almost) hour, and it felt right.
The evening walk replicated the morning, only there were four laps assisted and seven on my own, the arms were not as reactive, they occasionally swung, and I rocked from side to side like a real person. This is good.
Monday, March 13
Because the weather this morning was pleasant, we chose Piazza Gonzaga (on the way to San Giovenale) as our walking grounds. I was hoping for another day like yesterday. But the garage is smoothly paved and level, whereas Gonzaga rises and falls and tilts; nothing radical to an average walker but a raging topographical wonderland to someone who is essentially re-learning how to use his legs. The result was a lot of scraping and lurching, and solo walking was double that.
We made it back home by eleven, and I was in the recliner ten minutes or so later, but RLS (or recovery dyskinesia?) asserted itself in my right leg after about twenty minutes, so the limp period that arrived pretty much on time didn’t receive its due honor. I made amends and slept for an hour at four.
We walked the garage this evening, and I was able to do half of it without Roman’s physical assistance, then we went for a “stroll” towards our favorite gelateria. On the way we meet my friend Emilio, he asked how I was, Roman made a legend of my solo pacing, and Emilio supported my gathering health with an Italian phrase, that because of his mask, he had to repeat several times: atteggiamento sicuro. I just looked it up. It means confidence.